One way ticket
Caroline’s body seems to be that of a statue. She does neither move nor produce any sound. Her red blood-shot eyes gaze into space without blinking as opium smoke gets lazily out of her purplish lips. Another grey winter night she spends at the cold, deserted train station waiting for him to come.
The rhythmic sound of the engine announces the last train approaching the station. She feels it getting closer and closer. Tonight must be the night. Her accelerated heart beating and her muscles shaking show the excitement running through her veins. Fourteen years have passed since she last saw him. There is a dark figure hidden behind a column.
That who is spying on her decides to revel herself just as the train is arriving and firmly grabs Caroline’s arm. She is dragged over the dusty floorboards. Her mother, Ms Zulma, violently gets Caroline into the car, drives home and locks her in an empty room leaving her in pitch darkness.
After a few minutes, her eyes get used to the lack of light. The glow of the moon reveals her the shapes and shadows of her mother’s old untidy sewing room. Grief and guiltiness are the only things that are at the back of her mind. The rattle of the ancient windows being the only sound she hears, surrounds her in a deep feeling of loneliness. Her soul is in despair. A few steps from her, a shining surface calls her attention.
Caroline’s body seems to be that of a statue. She does neither move nor produce any sound. Her red blood-shot eyes gaze into space without blinking as opium smoke gets lazily out of her purplish lips. Another grey winter night she spends at the cold, deserted train station waiting for him to come.
The rhythmic sound of the engine announces the last train approaching the station. She feels it getting closer and closer. Tonight must be the night. Her accelerated heart beating and her muscles shaking show the excitement running through her veins. Fourteen years have passed since she last saw him. There is a dark figure hidden behind a column.
That who is spying on her decides to revel herself just as the train is arriving and firmly grabs Caroline’s arm. She is dragged over the dusty floorboards. Her mother, Ms Zulma, violently gets Caroline into the car, drives home and locks her in an empty room leaving her in pitch darkness.
After a few minutes, her eyes get used to the lack of light. The glow of the moon reveals her the shapes and shadows of her mother’s old untidy sewing room. Grief and guiltiness are the only things that are at the back of her mind. The rattle of the ancient windows being the only sound she hears, surrounds her in a deep feeling of loneliness. Her soul is in despair. A few steps from her, a shining surface calls her attention.
Suddenly, everything seems to make sense for her. She knows exactly what she has to do. For the very first time she feels she is the one who decides. Caroline walks slowly towards that which gleams; it’s the old pair of scissors, the only inheritance from that old woman whose wrinkled face trembled when she introduced herself as “grandma”. Some blood drops begin to splash on the floor covered in filth.
Zulma is lying on her bed half asleep. Images creep into her mind. Everything is becoming blurred. Nicholas appears unexpectedly in her dreams, his booming voice tells her:
“Why do you still blame Caroline for my accident? As I slipped on the rails, the train ran over me. However hard she tried to get me, there was nothing to be done, it was too late. You have already lost your son, and now you are just about to lose your daughter, she doesn’t have much time left. A second tragedy will strike this family unless you do something... NOW!!!”
Zulma jumps out of the bed and desperately rushes to the old sewing room. The stairs creak under her heavy steps. She unlocks the door and finds Caroline stabbing herself for the second time in the chest. She is already too weak to be saved. Again nothing can be done. Caroline sighes with relief, leaving her mother the curse of bearing that oppressing feeling of knowing that a life was in her hands, but she couldn't save it.
By Paola Magnarelli & María Sarasín
Zulma is lying on her bed half asleep. Images creep into her mind. Everything is becoming blurred. Nicholas appears unexpectedly in her dreams, his booming voice tells her:
“Why do you still blame Caroline for my accident? As I slipped on the rails, the train ran over me. However hard she tried to get me, there was nothing to be done, it was too late. You have already lost your son, and now you are just about to lose your daughter, she doesn’t have much time left. A second tragedy will strike this family unless you do something... NOW!!!”
Zulma jumps out of the bed and desperately rushes to the old sewing room. The stairs creak under her heavy steps. She unlocks the door and finds Caroline stabbing herself for the second time in the chest. She is already too weak to be saved. Again nothing can be done. Caroline sighes with relief, leaving her mother the curse of bearing that oppressing feeling of knowing that a life was in her hands, but she couldn't save it.
By Paola Magnarelli & María Sarasín
7 comentarios:
Well girls, I really like and enjoy your composition. It's well structured and has interesting and fabulous ideas. For me, it's very complete and coherent. I must say that I get involved with the story....the way you've developed it is amazing!!! I wouldn't change anything but, if I had written the story, maybe I would have finished it like this...
Zulma doesn't dare to open her eyes. She has the eerie sensation that her son's dreamlike message will become true. She feels sweaty and uncomfortable because she is terrified of this idea. Without thinking it so much, she rushes to the old sewing room to make sure she has just have and awful nightmare. Her fear grows and her tension increases as she puts her hand on the door knob and the creaking door opens. What she sees makes her blood run cold. She feels she cannot breathe freely. Her hands shiveres as she gazes at her daughter's dead body laying on the floor. She cannot get this nasty image out of her mind. Losing her head and being unable to control herself, she takes the same sharp object and stabs herself to death.
It's pretty similar, isn't it? What do you think girls?
Poa and María I really enjoyed reading your story. It`s nice!It was difficult for me to change the end because I liked the way you finished it-
Well, I would have finished the story like this:
Zulma jumps out of the bed and desperately rushes to the old sewing room. As she was afraid, she does not want to go downstairs and ,from that place, she sees her dauther`s body lying on the floor. Thinking she is dead, she becomes mad and loses the control. She takes her gun, which is in her desk drawer, and goes to the garden. Suddenly, an unexpected sound is heard. zulma kills herself.What was that? Caroline asks herself in the bathroom.
Sorry,the inverted commas, for the question, don`t seem to work correctly in my computer
"Mother, you know it was Caroline who did away with me. It was not an accident. She is a murderer and you know it. You better do something before she kills you too". Zulma wakes up puzzled by Nicola's words but determined to get rid of her doughter.
Meanwhile, Caroline, who was decided to put an end to herself, hears her mother's steps approaching to the sewing room. Zulma, with a knife in her hand, opens softly the door looking for the girl. On an impulse, Caroline threw herself at her mother stabbing her in her back. Zulma's body falls over Caroline knifing her. Both, mother and doughter are death.
Melina Marengo.-
Gosh! Now that I'm reding my comment I find some terrible mistakes! (I'm embarrassed je)
It's daughter istead of doughter
and dead instead of death.
See you!
Meli M.-
My God! what a tragedy!!! You are very imaginative Natalia!
Great new end!! Congratulations!
How tragic Melina!!! Very imaginative!
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